Hiei and Kurama Go Out for Donuts
by sashax13
Summary: Attacked by a giant invincible robot during the Dr. Ichigaki fight? Who, exactly, do Kurama and Hiei think they're kidding with a farfetched story like this one? Certainly not Yusuke and Kuwabara, who suspect their demon buddies just ditched the battle.


It was early one morning during the heat of the Dark Tournament in Makai. Team Urameshi had big plans for today- they were going to fight Dr. Ichigaki's team. And then maybe have a picnic and make a support banner and glitter-glue some Team Urameshi T-shirts.

Kurama woke up earlier than everybody else that morning, because he'd already gotten his beauty rest last night and it was useless to stay in bed any longer. He decided to go for a walk.

So Kurama rolled out of bed and tossed on his favorite nineties outfit that would've looked hideous on anyone else but on Kurama looked gorgeous and went outside as the sun was rising. He hadn't even bothered to brush his hair because he was used to bed-head (that's why his hair always sticks up in the back). Fortunately, it still looked amazingly good.

Kurama walked along the desolate island beach alone. He supposed all the other demons visiting must have been sleeping in today since he didn't meet anyone for a long time. But unexpectedly, a small dark shadow flitted across the rocks in front of Kurama!

"Hello, my love," Kurama greeted Hiei the fire demon.

"Hn, that joke isn't funny anymore." Hiei replied grouchily.

"Well, I think it is," Kurama responded. But he didn't press it because an angry Hiei was no fun. (As opposed to a cheerful Hiei, who of course was always all for hugs and sunshine.)

"Isn't this the perfect morning to take a walk right before a bloody, gladiatoresque battle involving the slaughter of demons? Just look at that sunrise." Kurama commented making polite conversation.

"Whatever. As if I care." Hiei agreed happily.

There was a long, awkward pause. It lasted so long that while both demons tried to think of something to say, the sun actually visibly rose in the sky until it was midmorning.

Then, Hiei thought of something.

"Want to go out for donuts?" He broached.

"Sorry, come again?"

"Donuts. Like, for breakfast." Hiei clarified.

"No, it was the 'going out' part that confused me." Kurama told him. "Where, exactly, are you suggesting we go? I was under the impression this island was uninhabited, except of course for the tournament festivities."

"Well, apparently it's totally uninhabited except for the tournament stadium _and_ a coffee shop. With pastries." Hiei elaborated.

"Are you serious? Where is it?" Kurama asked.

"On the other side behind some trees." Hiei pointed.

"Well, sure. Let's go." Kurama agreed.

"Want to race me?" Hiei offered eagerly.

"No."

So instead they walked all the way through the forest until they reached the well-lit coffee shop. It was beautiful- a beacon of civilization in an otherwise desolate island. Clearly, some demons had set up the shop in the hopes of earning more money from tourists on their visits, earning money much the way restaurants next to Disneyland did, except with an eviler twist, of course.

"Wow, I didn't realize coffee was so inexpensive here." Kurama mused glancing at the high menu on the wall as the two automatic doors ushered them inside.

"Well… it's still a rip-off anyways." Hiei informed him. "Because it's mostly milk and sugar and not so much of coffee. Reminds me of Starbucks."

"Except it doesn't cost so much."

"How pathetic is that?" Hiei wondered. "Honestly, when coffee in Hell even costs less than Starbucks, you know you've got a problem."

"I agree," Kurama added and then ordered at the counter a Triple Double Mocha Vanilla Frappuccino Latte with extra sugar, whipped cream, caramel and rainbow sprinkles, and two chocolate donuts. "Hiei, what will you order."

"Whatever you're getting." Hiei answered, and with an apprehensive glance at the coffee concoction that had just been placed on the counter, he revised his opinion. "Or maybe just the donuts."

"This is way better than Starbucks." Kurama complimented sipping his coffee and slapping money down on the counter. "They aren't charging me for the sprinkles."

The two demon buddies sat down at a table together. It was the best table in the whole store because it was extra tall and had spinny seats, which is of course why they picked it. They finished breakfast really fast but decided to hang out there for awhile afterwards as so not to lose their table and because neither Kurama nor Hiei wanted to go back and hang out with their loser human friends again just yet.

"This was fun. Let's do it again sometime." Kurama said finally.

"Do you have a watch?" Hiei asked. "We don't want to miss the match today."

"No," Kurama answered regrettably. "I only brought my blue watch and it doesn't match what I'm wearing today, so I left it behind. Do you have one?"

"Yes, and I've had it on this whole time, I only asked you about your watch because I wanted to know what _color_ it was." Hiei responded sarcastically.

"I told you, it's blue-"

"Are you guys talking about the Urameshi match today?" Asked an eavesdropping waitress who was standing nearby.

"Yes. Do you know about it?" Kurama inquired.

"Yeah, but it started about thirty minutes ago, so you'd be about a half hour late already." She replied.

Kurama and Hiei looked at each other. They were so busted! "I think we'd better head back to the stadium now," Kurama said.

They both ran back to the stadium at super-speed. Hiei of course ran like a blur thanks to his demon powers, Kurama just ran really fast because he was so pepped up on caffeine and sugar. They came in through one of the side entrances unnoticed looking down at the arena.

"Those are just a bunch of human zombies down there fighting against our team." Hiei grumbled. "And we're still losing anyways."

"Hm, I can fix that." Kurama replied. "Let's just kill Dr. Mad Science or whatever his name is and figure out a way to free the mind zombies!"

"How do you suppose we do that?"

"Trust me, I know what to do already." Kurama assured.

"How do you know?"

"Because! I _always_ know what to do in any given situation. That's just how I roll." Kurama explained thoroughly, although mysteriously at the same time, he was not really giving much of an explanation.

Ten minutes later….

"…And all I had to do was press the 'disable' button on Dr. Ichigaki's universal remote control that I, of course, pick pocketed from him just moments earlier, and freed the humans, just like that!" Kurama enthralled his teammates, a very confused looking Yusuke and Kuwabara, and their very clever but silent masked teammate that no one seemed to have figured out the identity of yet. Hiei was sitting around listening sulkily and pretending to be bored but really just secretly being nice so Kurama could explain the story in detail like he so much liked to do.

"And then we freed their teacher, and killed Dr. Ichigaki." Kurama finished.

"I did that!" Hiei put in.

Kurama nodded. "It was a collective effort."

"Well, I'm glad for it, don't get me wrong," Yusuke said thoughtfully, "But we could've really could've used you guys's help today. Where have you guys _been_?"

"It's like you just disappeared this morning." Kuwabara added.

Hiei and Kurama looked at each other. "Oh, that."

"I went on a walk this morning to stretch my legs," Kurama began.

"Me, too. Kurama and I ran into each other outside." Hiei continued.

Neither of them said anything. They didn't want to admit they'd forgotten about the match.

"Well you wouldn't believe what happened." Kurama finally spoke. "While we were outside in the woods, we got attacked by this huge, uh…. _robot_."

"Yes," Hiei decided to play along. "It was as tall as a skyscraper. And it had claws and was made of metal stronger than any on Earth."

"It was a learning robot, too. Every time we attacked it, it had the ability to record our movements in its memory and better prepare itself for an attack next time." Kurama invented.

"That sounds exactly like the robot from the movie _The Incredibles_." Kuwabara noted.

"Except taller and _more powerful_." Kurama insisted.

"It could feel no pain, so nothing stopped it from attacking continuously." Hiei decided.

"Why would there be a giant robot wandering around on this island to attack you guys?" Yusuke asked incredulously. "That doesn't make any sense at all!"

"It was planted there to intercept Hiei and I by one of the enemy teams." Kurama lied seamlessly.

"I _still_ don't understand why, though," Kuwabara admitted.

"Because if Kurama and I weren't able to make it to the match, then the rest of you wouldn't have a chance." Hiei explained in a tone like he was talking to a toddler.

"Thanks." Kuwabara answered coolly.

"Please. It wasn't _me _who automatically assumed your incompetence!" Hiei defended. "It the team that placed the robot there! But I'm not saying I wouldn't have done the same thing."

"Look, did you kill it?" Yusuke interrupted.

"Oh, we tricked it into killing itself." Kurama explained effortlessly. "Don't worry."

"Well, that's… convenient I guess." Yusuke decided. "I guess it's all over now, though, isn't it?"

"Yes." Kurama answered.

"Uh-huh." Yusuke and Kuwabara glanced at each other and shrugged.

Just then, the girls came over with smiling faces to congratulate everyone. Keiko carried paper, rolls of white fabric and glitter paint in a box. Botan carried steaming drinks on a tray.

"Are you ready to make T-shirts?" Keiko asked cheerfully.

"I bought everyone lattes." Botan offered setting the tray on the floor in front of them.

"What's the occasion?" Yusuke wondered.

"Oh, nothing. I just thought it'd be nice. Besides, you wouldn't believe how well priced coffee is here in demon world!"


End file.
